Project Name
The Standard Calendar
Posted in
Art, Photography, Book
Full Name
KesselsKramer
Year
2014
Detailed Information
Project NameThe Standard CalendarPosted inArt, Photography, BookFull NameKesselsKramer
Year2014

The Standard Hotels, the U.S. based boutique hotel chain with locations in Los Angeles, New York City and Miami Beach, has released a new edition of their Staff Calendar, this time with a little help from their guests. Designed by Dutch communications agency KesselsKramer, the glossy red 2014 calendar contains a selection of the strangest, most absurd, or just plain funny comments left by guests at The Standard hotels throughout 2013, each reenacted by The Standard staff in a humorously provocative way. Examples include a guest complaining that the bathtub water was hotter than an Icelandic hot spring, whilst perhaps more ludicrously, a couple asked to be compensated for drinking too much during their stay. There are other stories about Penny the Wiener dog and her demanding diet, a possessed TV-set in one of the rooms and the staff playing pranks on one of the guests by filling the corridor in front of his room with plastic cups full of water to ''keep him hydrated'' during his hangover. The photos were taken by French photographer Thomas Mailaender at The Standard Downtown LA, The Standard Hollywood and The Standard High Line in New York (which we presented back in July 2009).

The calendar is available online as well as in all The Standard shops.

Photo © The Standard.

Photo © The Standard.

MARCH''I am writing to share a recent experience I had in your hot tub. I carefully entered into the water, placing my glasses near the edge. The water was searing hot and after a very brief time (I would say no more than 3-4 minutes) I placed the frames back on my face only to discover that the prescription had literally melted off the lenses. I tried to wash them to get them clear. This didn't work, they are permanently damaged. I have been in hot tubs all over the world, including natural ones in Reykjavik and this has never happened. Unacceptable. I would like to be compensated. They are the European Silhouette brand, made of titanium, and have ultra-thin, anti-reflective corrective lens. The price of the lens (without the frames) is about $150.Thank you in advance.''Photo © The Standard.

MARCH
''I am writing to share a recent experience I had in your hot tub. I carefully entered into the water, placing my glasses near the edge. The water was searing hot and after a very brief time (I would say no more than 3-4 minutes) I placed the frames back on my face only to discover that the prescription had literally melted off the lenses. I tried to wash them to get them clear. This didn't work, they are permanently damaged. I have been in hot tubs all over the world, including natural ones in Reykjavik and this has never happened. Unacceptable. I would like to be compensated. They are the European Silhouette brand, made of titanium, and have ultra-thin, anti-reflective corrective lens. The price of the lens (without the frames) is about $150.
Thank you in advance.''
Photo © The Standard.

APRIL''Thank you fro providing a refuge to recover from the harsh world of Los Angeles and its dog-eat-dog media business. Your support for the arts is apparent in the wonderful environment you have created here. Thank you for rehabilitating me from:- Hostile takeover of my business,- Subsequent lawsuit,- Divorce- Collapse of my ego.I have been reborn a better man.''Photo © The Standard.

APRIL
''Thank you fro providing a refuge to recover from the harsh world of Los Angeles and its dog-eat-dog media business. Your support for the arts is apparent in the wonderful environment you have created here. Thank you for rehabilitating me from:
- Hostile takeover of my business,
- Subsequent lawsuit,
- Divorce
- Collapse of my ego.
I have been reborn a better man.''
Photo © The Standard.

FEBRUARY''Your tip jar saved my life! I was trying to buy drinks for my co-workers in from Sweden when my credit card went on the fritz. I was $20 bucks short in cash and was about to die of embarrassment when the server discreetly called me to the bar and spotted me the difference from the tip jar. The next day I got my card working and slipped them a $100 tip for saving my broke ass…Forever grateful,''Photo © The Standard.

FEBRUARY
''Your tip jar saved my life! I was trying to buy drinks for my co-workers in from Sweden when my credit card went on the fritz. I was $20 bucks short in cash and was about to die of embarrassment when the server discreetly called me to the bar and spotted me the difference from the tip jar. The next day I got my card working and slipped them a $100 tip for saving my broke ass…
Forever grateful,''
Photo © The Standard.

JANUARY''Dear Standard,Your staff are the nicest pooch-lovers in the whole world. Penny, my precious little wiener, is on a special diet and must be fed at specific times so she can take her pills. You room service was sweet enough to prepare it each day, executed to the last detail and delivered right on time. Penny is extremely appreciative and is looking forward to her next stay.Sincerely,''Photo © The Standard.

JANUARY
''Dear Standard,
Your staff are the nicest pooch-lovers in the whole world. Penny, my precious little wiener, is on a special diet and must be fed at specific times so she can take her pills. You room service was sweet enough to prepare it each day, executed to the last detail and delivered right on time. Penny is extremely appreciative and is looking forward to her next stay.
Sincerely,''
Photo © The Standard.

JUNE''I lost my kush. Where's my kush?''Photo © The Standard.

JUNE
''I lost my kush. Where's my kush?''
Photo © The Standard.

JULY''I am a music journalist and frequent guest of The Standard. I had just given an unflattering review to a volatile pop star's latest album and heard through the grapevine he was staying at the hotel and I was certain he was going to extract some kind of revenge.To be honest, I completely freaked out. After many anxious phone calls with the front desk, one of your staff kindly offered to stay up with me until I calmed down. She literally sat in my room and read to me until I passed out. These people deserve a bonus, a trophy, a weekend in the Bahamas.Thanks my friends.''Photo © The Standard.

JULY
''I am a music journalist and frequent guest of The Standard. I had just given an unflattering review to a volatile pop star's latest album and heard through the grapevine he was staying at the hotel and I was certain he was going to extract some kind of revenge.To be honest, I completely freaked out. After many anxious phone calls with the front desk, one of your staff kindly offered to stay up with me until I calmed down. She literally sat in my room and read to me until I passed out. These people deserve a bonus, a trophy, a weekend in the Bahamas.
Thanks my friends.''
Photo © The Standard.

DECEMBER''Dear Standard Staff,You were the most hospitable bunch of people I've ever stayed with in a while. Thank you so much for making my time here in LA so nice.Sincerely,PS: Btw, someone installed the sign in your hotel upside down.''Photo © The Standard.

DECEMBER
''Dear Standard Staff,
You were the most hospitable bunch of people I've ever stayed with in a while. Thank you so much for making my time here in LA so nice.
Sincerely,
PS: Btw, someone installed the sign in your hotel upside down.''
Photo © The Standard.

NOVEMBER''Hey Standard,Thanks plenty for the most epic hangover of my life. And thanks even more for hydrating me the next day.Sincerely,''Photo © The Standard.

NOVEMBER
''Hey Standard,
Thanks plenty for the most epic hangover of my life. And thanks even more for hydrating me the next day.
Sincerely,''
Photo © The Standard.

SEPTEMBER''Quality of toilet paper could be better… 3-ply minimum… otherwise it was a great room and enjoyable stay.Thank you…''Photo © The Standard.

SEPTEMBER
''Quality of toilet paper could be better… 3-ply minimum… otherwise it was a great room and enjoyable stay.
Thank you…''
Photo © The Standard.

AUGUST''Stayed here a few years ago and it is still beautiful! The only thing I recommend is… the TV is possessed. No matter which button you push: vol, channel up, etc, it just channels down - malfunction.Love from Vegas.''Photo © The Standard.

AUGUST
''Stayed here a few years ago and it is still beautiful! The only thing I recommend is… the TV is possessed. No matter which button you push: vol, channel up, etc, it just channels down - malfunction.
Love from Vegas.''
Photo © The Standard.

Photo © The Standard.

Photo © The Standard.

The STANDARD Calendar 2014

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