Snow White, for instance, now juggles four kids and a lazy, good-for-nothing husband. Her days are filled with endless chores, tantrums, and household chaos—a far cry from the idyllic life she imagined when she sang to birds and danced with dwarfs in the woods. It turns out that happily ever after is no match for the grind of domestic reality.

Sleeping Beauty hasn’t fared much better. Once the epitome of youthful innocence, she’s now trapped in an age-defying nightmare. Botox injections, facial fillers, and plastic surgery have replaced her carefree slumber, as she desperately tries to cling to a youthfulness that time has long since stolen. Her once-natural beauty is now an unnatural mask, and the only thing that remains untouched is her long-standing relationship with her pillow.

Little Red Riding Hood’s journey took an equally surprising turn. Forget the forest-wandering girl in a crimson cloak—she’s now a junk-food-obsessed teenager who can barely ride a bicycle. The only wolf she’s worried about is the one on her Uber Eats order screen, and the basket of goodies has long been replaced by super-sized portions and sugar cravings.

The Little Mermaid’s reality is no less tragic. Gone are the days of swimming freely through enchanted waters and singing about life on land. She’s now a commercial attraction in a budget-friendly aquarium, forced to perform synchronized flips for wide-eyed children. Her once-dreamy gaze is now one of exhaustion and resignation, as she realizes that the human world she once longed for is nothing more than a glass tank with a mop bucket nearby.